BV Unmuted: Balanced Screen Time Habits for Kids and Families

What does balanced screen time look like for children and families today, and how can schools and parents work together to create balance?

In this episode of BV Unmuted, Dr. Gillian Chapman is joined by Children's Mercy pediatrician and Blue Valley parent Dr. Libby Milkovich, executive director of school administration Amy Farthing and executive director of academic services Kelly June to discuss healthy screen time habits at home and in the classroom. Together, they explore the evolving role of technology in kids' lives, practical ways families can model healthy digital behaviors and how Blue Valley is taking a thoughtful, balanced approach to screen use in schools.

Whether you are a parent, educator or community member, this conversation offers practical takeaways and reassurance that there is no one-size-fits-all approach—just intentional steps toward balance and well-being.

Listen now and discover how Blue Valley is partnering with families to help students thrive in a digital world.

Transcript

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Blue Valley Teacher
I love Blue Valley because I feel a lot of support. It's a great community.

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Blue Valley Teacher
We are a people that believe in excellence, that believe in constantly striving for more.

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Blue Valley Student
I think that there is a lot of opportunities that I would have never explored on my own, and all of the teachers and staff here at Blue Valley make everything so much easier and more accessible.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Welcome to Blue Valley. Unmute it. I'm doctor Gillian Chapman, superintendent of Blue Valley Schools, and thanks for joining us today. As we talk about screen time, I know this is something that's on

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
the minds of our families as well as our educators.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Joining me in today's conversation is Doctor Libby Milkovich, a developmental and behavioral pediatrician at Children's Mercy and a Blue Valley parent, Amy Farthing, Blue Valley executive director of school administration. And Kelly Jean, Blue Valley's chief of academic services.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Today we are talking about screen time and how families can teach healthy screen habits at home.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
One of the things that I want to bring out before we get started, I read a statistic recently

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
people born today because we're digital natives, 95% of them will spend their entire lives less than three feet away from a

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
digitally connected device.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
thinking about that, I want to give

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
our listeners a quick overview of Blue Valley's screen time work.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Amy and Kelly,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
could you,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
speak to what prompted the district to begin focusing on screen time and how it ties to student well-being?

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
I think, first of all, it's just a continuation of the work around just always being focused on the wellness of students and with screen time becoming more of a national conversation and just conversation with community members and families, I think the Board of Education was wise in making this a goal for this year, for us to ensure that we're holding up our side of the bargain.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
When it comes to screen time,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
students have 24 hours in their day, and we're part of that. So we're we're,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
excited to partner with families to ensure that, students develop a healthy relationship with

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
screens, and are able to leverage them for

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
academic purposes in an appropriate way.

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Speaker 3
We've had Kelly, and I've had the chance to be out and about. Listen,

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Speaker 3
listening to different patrons and stakeholders and,

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Speaker 3
hearing about people's thoughts and opinions, perspectives, desires about this topic. So,

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Speaker 3
it's it's actually been kind of a fun.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Road.

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Speaker 3
If I can be.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Really honest.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
It's been great.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Lots of people understand the risks and rewards and have helped us,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
kind of try to find a way path forward to kind of balance those in the interest of learning and students well-being.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Doctor Milkovich, from your perspective as a pediatrician, why is screen time an important topic in our society right now?

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And why is it one that families should pay close attention to?

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Speaker 2
I think that is a really great topic to think about. When I went to a panel of teens talking about social media, what they were communicating was it's not social media and my in-person life. I live in both. And so since then I kind of think about just like the school environment or the home environment, the digital environment can really influence how we interact with each other.

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Speaker 2
Our healthy behaviors, how we learn. And it's just so much more complex than just screen time alone. And it's just a part of where we are gaining or developing who we are as a person.

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Speaker 2
And technology clearly has benefits for learning and connection. But one of the biggest issues facing our society today is how we find that balance, either for ourselves or for our children. There's a lot of concern about addiction and addiction to social media and the harms of social media. So Doctor Milkovich,

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Speaker 2
how do we approach that conversation in a healthy and realistic way?

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Speaker 2
I think that's really important to think about it. And a realistic way has often a lot the,

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Speaker 2
you know,

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Speaker 2
the communication or the, the information that we receive can be shaming to parents, making us feel bad about the way that we as parents are engaging with digital media. But actually, it's the way that society is expecting to some degree, like our culture is to engage in digital media to some degree.

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Speaker 2
So kind of taking that back and normalizing,

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Speaker 2
how we use digital media is the first step, the way that I handle it with, with parents and then taking maybe minor steps in thinking about the family system as a whole and how we can use it, and maybe a more beneficial way, for example, something that I talk about is,

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Speaker 2
having device reading meal times because that's beneficial in multiple ways.

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Speaker 2
One, we know that family meal times is protective for,

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Speaker 2
physical

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Speaker 2
health in children. You know, if they eat, if families are eating together, they're more likely to make healthy meal choices.

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Speaker 2
But then also, I love talking about the the wonderful communication that occurs when you have a family meal time. And you can't really capture that when you do research on it.

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Speaker 2
There is some wonderful benefits to just sitting around a table together. It's a lot easier to say do something as opposed to don't do something to. So that's what I really try to focus on, like the saying, oh, don't do screen time in bed, right? Which is something that often pediatricians do say, what can we do instead? Right.

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Speaker 2
What are some other things that we could use instead? And that's really great. So instead of saying, just spend more time together as a family, you know, don't do digital media as a family, maybe. What can we do together as a family?

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
That's an excellent example. And what are some other routines that you recommend to your patients and to your families that might be of value to our listeners today?

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Speaker 2
Often I hear, so as a developmental pediatrician, I care for kids with ADHD, autism, intellectual disability, and they are the highest risk for having some of these problematic behaviors around digital media. So having difficulty separating from their devices. So I often talk about what the morning routine looks like and how do we

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Speaker 2
how do we use digital media as a positive reinforcer for behaviors that we, we want?

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Speaker 2
And so and that just kind of tweaking the morning routine. And so instead of having screen time at the beginning,

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Speaker 2
of the morning routine, maybe having it at the end. And so if you're able to complete your morning routine at a decent amount of time, then you have, you know, ten minutes before the school bus comes, then that's a positive, natural, logical consequence that you can use your digital media.

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Speaker 2
So I think it just kind of tweaking the way that we think about and use digital media

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Speaker 2
And when I say digital media, I mean all type of internet use. It could be social media, it could be watching TV. And there's all different ways that we can kind of tweak this,

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Speaker 2
just thinking about it as,

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Speaker 2
as why we're using it and how do we use it to the best potential that we can possibly use it to, and not just as something else to do?

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
I think sometimes it's about fear for us.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And as a parent, you know, I fear that my child is just sitting in front of a TV all day long. When I think back to my youth,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
I would get in trouble for sitting too close to the TV. And,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
that was the biggest concern.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And so then I, you know, we didn't have remote controls.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
I'm really,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
dating myself now, but,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
and yes, it was a color TV.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
But,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
a lot of concern, as I recall, growing up, you know, go outside and play and don't sit in front of a TV.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
So a lot of concern that that's how we use technology in our schools. And I'm telling you, that is absolutely false. And the concern about students being connected, overly connected at school or,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
becoming addicted to things at school, that's not how technology is used.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
In our schools. And I'm in the classroom often every day. I'm in schools, and I have never seen a student inappropriately on,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
a device, you know, instead of interacting with somebody else.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
It's all very legitimate, well balanced use. So,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Amy, can you talk a little bit about some of the steps that our schools,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
will be taking next year to encourage healthy digital habits in reflecting,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
some of the the comments of Doctor Milkovich.

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Speaker 3
You know, you said something,

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Speaker 3
a minute ago about parents feeling shame about how they,

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Speaker 3
have made decisions or judgments about what their kids are doing. The screen time at home. I think teachers feel the same.

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Speaker 3
I think initially,

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Speaker 3
especially teachers who've been at this a little while, jumped into technology, full feet, you know, both feet all in because there was a, I think, a notion about like future ready call you.

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Speaker 3
We've got jump in. We've got to be tech, tech, tech. And so now some to some extent kind of pulling back and going whoa, whoa, whoa. We need to really think thoughtfully. Let's, let's have a bit more of a balanced approach. So I think what we're hoping we can move forward a little bit next year is

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Speaker 3
a balanced approach.

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Speaker 3
We know there are digital resources that we, we will use and must use. That's just the platform that that's best, best accommodated on. And we can have accessibility for a lot of our students.

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Speaker 3
There's just so much, so many things that kids need to be able to access in different ways, and that helps their learning.

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Speaker 3
So we know that that that's still a need. And the best practice that we can also get assessment tools that way. So that's that. Those are the the must do's and the why of why we would do it.

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Speaker 3
one thing we want to really push on next year is trying to trying to get teachers to think about when they think of a task and an instructional item that they're going to take for it in their classroom.

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Speaker 3
Can technology really deepen the understanding? Because if it's not going to, then let's go to an analog option. And I think that that's really going to help teachers hopefully think about doing a little bit more analog, kind of taking things a little, thinking about the the amount of analog things they do in their classroom, hopefully, hopefully increasing. So we're not on screens quite as much.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
I would say,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
two things that Academic Services

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
is, is working towards next year is,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
one, sending out a message that if you can do it analog and, and it equals the learning do it analog, get out the pen and paper and use those things.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
It's interesting because so many of our teachers have never taught in an environment that's not a 1 to 1

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
we are so committed to really looking at and dusting off some of our old tricks and getting,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
getting back into some of those skills that I taught with when I was a teacher. And so our instructional design team is working hard to look at,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
things in our

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
resources that are the analog pieces and making sure that they're, they're finding their way into the classroom, too.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
So it's intentional, though.

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Speaker 3
I would say we've got our,

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Speaker 3
buildings, actually, this is a very deliberate part of their school strategic plans for next year. So it's not just a fly by night. Oh, and if you want to this is every building is is designing pieces of this into their plan.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And naturally we're kind of bringing it to the forefront,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
where it's always lived in good instructional decisions for teachers, but definitely bringing it to the forefront. So,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
I'm, I'm also in classrooms and I talk to kids and they like the, the analog,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
thing. So,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
we're, we're excited to kind of go there and,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
kind of make this push for,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
extremely, balanced.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
you almost need to reestablish the permission structure. The analog is not only is it good, it's great.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
I've noticed in some of our,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
secondary classrooms, it's very rare that I see the devices out, like in a middle school.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Sometimes they're doing some research of that kind of thing and keeping their their notes and their,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
results on their device.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
But in high school, oftentimes I see the teacher,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
giving students choice in. Do you want to if, if they're taking notes or if they're interacting with something, do you want to do it on your device? Do you want to do it on on paper?

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
My student leadership groups,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
they appreciate when they have the choice,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
because they are starting to learn who they are as a learner.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And so I think that makes a difference.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
We've talked about some ways that we're partnering with teachers,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
and with our students. So, Kelly, can you share some ways that will be working to partner with families?

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And, and what resources or how will we share resources with families that reinforce healthy screen time habits at home?

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Another continuation of Blue Values work is is partnering with families. And this seems just like such a great topic to do that with.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Doctor.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Milkovich, it's been great to give us some,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
some

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
new, new tips and tricks,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
I'm hoping to continue that relationship as we go here. We are planning next year to to share information about what's happening in the schools and be as transparent as we can about the number of minutes and what what types of,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
platform students are on,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
so that families can use that information and make decisions that align to their values and how they want to approach screen time.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
So we understand that when you drop your kiddo off at school, they walk in the building and you're not sure exactly,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
the amount of time they're on a screen, we're going to try our best to be more, more,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
open about that and publish things on our website. So that's one thing we're going to do.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Also a continuation.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
We're going to continue to work with the Blue Valley Educational Foundation, who for a long time has been focused on student wellness and

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
for many years has partnered with well to

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
give opportunities to families to learn about screen time. I think that's an important partnership to continue to,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
lean into and promote their events. And then, of course, this is just going to be a conversation in,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
in the district next year around screen time and I'm sure will have

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
board advisory committees, PTO, PTA meetings and all those sorts of,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
opportunities for families to engage with the district in these important decisions.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And I would add,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
on our website, families can always access,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
parent guidance.org. It's a free resource. And there are it's available 24 over seven at really fantastic.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Suggestions about navigating topics, parenting topics from I mean just really covering all the bases. So I would encourage people to check out parent guidance.org. There is a link on our website, or you can just,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
put that into your search browser because we know that sometimes parents,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
have a question or a concern and it's not happening,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
while Doctor Milkovich is in the office or, you know, during regular business hours and, and it seems like when there's something going on in the home,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
that it almost always happens at odd time. So having that,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
24 over seven,

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
resource available I think is is really helpful.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Doctor Milkovich, how important is it for adults to model healthy screen habits?

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Speaker 2
So actually this is what my research focuses on because kids learn from

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Speaker 2
the they do social learning. They learn from their environment. And that's why technology is shaping the way that kids are learning. And part of that is how the adults around them are modeling behaviors. And what we know is that parents with problematic behaviors around digital media are ten times more likely to have adolescents a problematic media behavior.

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Speaker 2
And so it's a huge predictor of how kids use digital media themselves. But also what we know is that not only are they modeling these behaviors, but parents that use high digital medium or, you know, are on their phones,

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Speaker 2
during meal times or when the kid is trying to interact with them. That's disrupting the development of the parent child relationship.

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Speaker 2
So there's something that I really highlight in my clinic office as much as I can is to think about,

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Speaker 2
you know, often we, our parents are in my office because they're wanting what's best for their child. And something that we can control as the adult is maybe our own habits. Right? We can't really make our child behave a certain way, even though we might want to.

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Speaker 2
But what we control, which controls our own behaviors and habits, and that is something that we can really.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
Think about.

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Speaker 2
something that I think is like a tangible tool that I often recommend

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Speaker 2
is I often partner with screen Candy, which is a local nonprofit, and have this wonderful tool to teach families how to use smartphones in a healthy way.

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Speaker 2
And it's called the driver's Ed to cell phones. And so it's really using that same concept as we as the adults are modeling safe behaviors driving. Then they practice,

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Speaker 2
you know, with the adult and next to them, and then they have independence and they drive by themselves. And so and so we need to take the step of modeling appropriate behaviors.

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Speaker 2
And then also we need to help them practice it instead of just handing them a phone or handing them a school tissue device. We need to teach kids how to actually use it and monitor it, and then help correct that behavior. And then once they show those skills, then they have more independence.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And that's exactly how we teach things in school, right? We don't we don't start with

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
write a dissertation. We start with the first steps.

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Dr. Gillian Chapman
And some of the things,

00:16:56:21 - 00:17:05:07
Dr. Gillian Chapman
lately that we're hearing a lot about, that the legislature is taking it upon themselves to have more of an all or nothing approach. And,

00:17:05:07 - 00:17:07:10
Dr. Gillian Chapman
that sounds like it's counter.

00:17:07:10 - 00:17:20:22
Dr. Gillian Chapman
I mean, of course we all want our children to be healthy, happy, healthy, not addicted to devices, those kinds of things. But it sounds like from your research, the all or nothing approach is not necessarily the best approach.

00:17:20:22 - 00:17:26:17
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Understanding that devices are going to be a part of our world forever. So,

00:17:26:17 - 00:17:34:04
Dr. Gillian Chapman
do you have any other comment or recommendations that a parent could take or our, our legislature could consider?

00:17:34:04 - 00:17:48:15
Speaker 2
The way that I think about it is we want a child centered approach, like, how do we want our children to to be the best adults we can possibly be? What does that look like? And that is at the at the individual child level. And so some kids need different things as you, as you guys all know.

00:17:48:15 - 00:17:52:03
Speaker 2
But that also we also want them to be independent.

00:17:52:03 - 00:18:15:08
Speaker 2
Right. And so the current environment that we live in is a digital world. And so how do we foster these healthy behaviors around it. And some of those things are practicing behaviors in the home setting like going back to analogy that I used before, if you didn't let your child drive into or out of the house and said, okay, here's some car keys, go drive, that would make me anxious because do they have the skill to do that independently?

00:18:15:08 - 00:18:27:15
Speaker 2
I don't know. And so thinking about where that child is developmentally and what skills that is appropriate for them to handle, they should be practicing that in a safe way so that can get correction and guidance.

00:18:27:19 - 00:18:28:18
Dr. Gillian Chapman
I think that we're

00:18:28:18 - 00:18:48:13
Dr. Gillian Chapman
looking to post on our website around screen time is a family digital plan, which is a fantastic tool for families just to start the conversation. And that's one thing I've I've heard from a couple families, like if we had this guidance, just having the conversation is step one. In developing a great environment at home that they could

00:18:48:13 - 00:18:49:19
Dr. Gillian Chapman
partner with schools.

00:18:49:19 - 00:19:09:05
Speaker 2
there's no one way to do digital media. It's individual. It's a family system. It's a social system. And and so the family media plan is, is built to help guide these conversations and not just think about screen time alone, because I think that's where a lot of the conversation gets confusing is because is it's screen time.

00:19:09:05 - 00:19:20:09
Speaker 2
Does it make you have bad outcomes? It's those problematic behaviors around it one or how it's getting in our way of meaning, us needing to do what we need to do outside of screen time.

00:19:20:09 - 00:19:29:01
Speaker 2
And so and so. That's why it's really hard. And we don't as Patricia, we don't do like the to our screen time or less because that doesn't make any sense anymore.

00:19:29:03 - 00:19:42:16
Speaker 2
That was based on TV research. And and so having these kind of complex conversations are hard to have in the office. And so that's why the American Academy of Pediatrics created this tool to help families do this conversation at home.

00:19:42:16 - 00:19:49:01
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Yes, we have we have smart, smart families. And just given a little bit of help, a tool,

00:19:49:01 - 00:19:55:01
Dr. Gillian Chapman
I'm sure it'll result in good things for kids. That's a connection just with the learning side that you're talking about. Like

00:19:55:01 - 00:19:59:13
Dr. Gillian Chapman
when we were studying this last summer, actually, we there are there is no,

00:19:59:13 - 00:20:02:17
Dr. Gillian Chapman
absolute X number of minutes in classrooms are best.

00:20:02:18 - 00:20:06:04
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Exactly what the resource with the research.

00:20:06:04 - 00:20:18:01
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Kate came to say essentially, is that it's what you're doing on the device that makes all the difference in the world. And that's that's why our guidance to teachers in our professional learning and our,

00:20:18:01 - 00:20:29:02
Dr. Gillian Chapman
support for teachers in learning is going to be guided towards those uses that are most beneficial in a way from uses that are less beneficial or just passive,

00:20:29:02 - 00:20:32:14
Dr. Gillian Chapman
consumption of the of media on devices.

00:20:32:15 - 00:20:38:16
Dr. Gillian Chapman
So I find a lot of connections between our work exactly. And I think even our, I think even our,

00:20:38:16 - 00:20:41:21
Dr. Gillian Chapman
motivation is the same. It's to make great decisions,

00:20:41:21 - 00:20:47:21
Dr. Gillian Chapman
for kids when we have them and whether it's at home or in the classroom room.

00:20:47:21 - 00:21:03:23
Dr. Gillian Chapman
I mean, I feel like we're somewhat in a parenting mode with this and making sure our kids are healthy and they develop the skills and they leave Blue Valley also with the skills to take advantage of that digital future they're going to inhabit.

00:21:03:23 - 00:21:22:03
Speaker 2
Right. And when you were mentioning it earlier, I so much resonated with what you're saying. And in these complex conversations that we have to have, like, what is better than analog? Is it that, you know, a lot of there's a lot of subjectivity to this, and is it better for all children, or is it just better for this developmental age or this individual child?

00:21:22:05 - 00:21:22:21
Dr. Gillian Chapman
It's nuanced.

00:21:22:21 - 00:21:46:00
Speaker 2
It's nuanced. And so having these complex conversations in a, in a room, trying to understand the whole family culture and I, for you guys, the classroom or the school culture, it's really, really hard. And so that's why it's really important to continue to have these conversations as we're learning more and more, because I'm trying to do the exact same thing that you guys are doing, trying to help families figure out, like, is this an is this a beneficial time to be practicing some digital media skills?

00:21:46:01 - 00:21:53:01
Speaker 2
Or, you know, is are we getting something from the social media use, or could we be doing something else that's maybe more beneficial? Or is this creating harm?

00:21:53:05 - 00:21:54:15
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Right. So,

00:21:54:15 - 00:22:06:21
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Doctor Milkovich, what might be some signs that screen use or social media may be negatively, negatively impacting a child's mental health or well-being. So when should a parent reach out to you?

00:22:06:23 - 00:22:07:19
Speaker 2
So,

00:22:07:19 - 00:22:19:17
Speaker 2
I use the word problematic internet use. And there's no clear definition or diagnosis. And that can encompass social media addiction. It could encompass internet addiction.

00:22:19:17 - 00:22:32:01
Speaker 2
Experts usually try to steer away from the use term of addiction because of the stigma. And really it puts the focus on the individual person and not put a lot of blame on, like this sticky design that digital media has in our lives.

00:22:32:02 - 00:22:42:22
Speaker 2
And so I use problematic internet use, and that is the highest predictor of negative outcomes. Or what problematic internet use is, are excessive, risky internet use.

00:22:42:22 - 00:22:52:23
Speaker 2
And those internet use dependency thoughts and behaviors. So you need to feel constantly connected or feeling anxious when you're away. But then in any other things, in any of the,

00:22:52:23 - 00:22:56:19
Speaker 2
diagnoses that I see in my room, is that impairment, how is it getting in our way?

00:22:56:21 - 00:23:12:21
Speaker 2
So that could be kind of like what you mentioned before when you're talking about TV, right? We see eyestrain and changes in vision with high use. It could be disruptions in sleep, but it could be more of those subtle things like disruptions in our social connections or,

00:23:12:21 - 00:23:20:17
Speaker 2
you know, difficulty engaging in in-person interactions because we have increased social anxiety or we have difficulty with emotion regulation.

00:23:20:17 - 00:23:41:02
Speaker 2
So, meaning, how do we regulate our emotions around it? Because we are used to you, even me, myself, I'm used to that immediate gratification. And so if I'm feeling uncomfortable and my phone's right here, I can grab it. I can calm down when that's not around. I haven't practiced the skill to self regulate. Right. And so those are a little bit more subtle because you can't quantify that.

00:23:41:02 - 00:23:44:00
Speaker 2
But it's it's good but it can be something that's getting in our way.

00:23:44:02 - 00:23:45:13
Speaker 3
I actually heard a

00:23:45:13 - 00:24:02:03
Speaker 3
kindergarten kickoff was a couple weeks ago. And I heard a counselor speak to this. She was just sharing at one of the sessions, and I'm not going to do it as eloquently as she did, but she was sharing with this group, you know, they have five year olds. And she was saying, one of the things you can do to help get your kids ready is they've been,

00:24:02:03 - 00:24:14:04
Speaker 3
you've had one kid and you've been able to when they, you know, sat attention or, you know, were, for whatever reason, handed them your phone to watch, you know, Bluey or whatever it was, you know, just because they were they needed something.

00:24:14:04 - 00:24:32:13
Speaker 3
And here you go. Does that if you can stretch that out, have them talk to you for a minute before you do it, then work on going to minutes before you do. This is just one idea because she was trying to say, like try to get them to go a long, long two times of social interaction before you go to something that's, you know, more of a self gratification to that.

00:24:32:15 - 00:24:34:07
Speaker 3
Again, one example, but.

00:24:34:09 - 00:24:43:16
Speaker 2
It's a great example of it's a concrete example of like we need of how phones that access technology can be really great. You know, for some of my patients.

00:24:43:16 - 00:24:46:13
Speaker 3
Solving a need for a need that's going to backfire on.

00:24:46:13 - 00:24:47:04
Dr. Gillian Chapman
You, right.

00:24:47:04 - 00:25:05:23
Speaker 2
And I think, again, kind of go back to like for, for the general population. Right. That's probably a good thing to say. But when I think about when I see one family in my clinic room who might have a child who has, you know, really significant autism spectrum disorder, you know, that has needs a lot of support. That child might look different for sure.

00:25:05:23 - 00:25:19:10
Speaker 2
Right. And so and so I think that goes back to like that nuanced approach. I think that general recommendation is great. I think we just have to be sensitive. And that's why the guidelines, the pediatric guidelines are so nuanced. And then and so it's really hard to implement.

00:25:19:12 - 00:25:43:06
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Yeah, absolutely. Like it hinges on relationships. And I think in Blue Valley, do we do a great job of knowing our kids and being able to and design learning experiences, including and not including technology that meets their needs, just like a parent, but for their child? Sometimes it's frustrating. I think for a parent to hear it's nuanced. So if each

00:25:43:06 - 00:25:49:22
Dr. Gillian Chapman
of you could leave families with one practical take away when it comes to screens and balance, what would it be?

00:25:50:00 - 00:25:53:05
Dr. Gillian Chapman
I think I would lean into,

00:25:53:05 - 00:26:13:11
Dr. Gillian Chapman
just have the conversation and be aware. And I think that's the first step is, is having an approach as a family. We're developing ours and in Move Valley in classrooms. And I would encourage families to begin the conversation, develop, approach and know that there's no one right way. Just start.

00:26:13:11 - 00:26:14:05
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Yeah, I guess.

00:26:14:05 - 00:26:14:19
Speaker 3
I would say,

00:26:14:19 - 00:26:16:16
Speaker 3
this is maybe,

00:26:16:16 - 00:26:21:14
Speaker 3
having kids that are a little bit grown and combined with years of being in education,

00:26:21:14 - 00:26:26:10
Speaker 3
the toothpaste will get out of the tube and you'll wish you'd done things differently. So,

00:26:26:10 - 00:26:34:07
Speaker 3
set some parameters when they're young. For those of you who have young parents or young kids out there, set some parameters and loosen them up as they get older.

00:26:34:09 - 00:26:38:11
Speaker 3
But to your point, the driving, the driving example, like,

00:26:38:11 - 00:26:40:04
Speaker 3
set some guidelines and,

00:26:40:04 - 00:26:41:05
Speaker 3
where phones go,

00:26:41:05 - 00:26:45:08
Speaker 3
where devices go, hey, you know, those kinds of things and loosen up on,

00:26:45:08 - 00:26:48:23
Speaker 3
as they earn that or as, as you think that they're ready. But,

00:26:48:23 - 00:26:56:17
Speaker 3
that that would be my advice is just don't be afraid to be in charge of of their devices when they're when they're younger.

00:26:56:17 - 00:26:58:16
Speaker 2
I think those are all great points

00:26:58:16 - 00:27:24:14
Speaker 2
for for me, something that I really try to focus on is spending quality family time together. At least five minutes without devices, just practicing that kind like you were mentioning before, having, you know, kindergartners practice about devices. But it's also hard for parents to be away from their devices. So if we could do something together as a family daily for five minutes, that we could have major improvement in family connection and being able to tolerate being away from other devices for everybody at home.

00:27:24:16 - 00:27:27:22
Dr. Gillian Chapman
And I think talking about it too, with your, with your child,

00:27:27:22 - 00:27:53:16
Dr. Gillian Chapman
as you noticed, as you said earlier, that kids notice everything that we do. So when you're having family time and something pops up at you consciously, you're saying, I'm putting my phone away. And in putting my phone away, I'm feeling a little nervous that I may miss something that's important or my evening time is so important as a family.

00:27:53:18 - 00:27:56:17
Dr. Gillian Chapman
My phone is always going to go into,

00:27:56:17 - 00:27:57:15
Dr. Gillian Chapman
silence,

00:27:57:15 - 00:28:03:19
Dr. Gillian Chapman
you know, in the evenings. And so you're, you're actually explicitly talking about what your boundaries are.

00:28:03:19 - 00:28:05:10
Dr. Gillian Chapman
I do have one more question.

00:28:05:10 - 00:28:13:20
Dr. Gillian Chapman
It was it the fact that if you sat too close to the TV when when I was young, that I. It was really doing damage?

00:28:13:20 - 00:28:18:10
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Because if so, I'm going to have a conversation with my parents. Well.

00:28:18:23 - 00:28:26:15
Speaker 2
Using what we know from technology now when we have screens up in our faces. Yeah, we are seeing ice strain and difficulty like refocusing

00:28:26:15 - 00:28:29:17
Speaker 2
because of it. So it might be true.

00:28:29:17 - 00:28:31:10
Dr. Gillian Chapman
this cruise mom is always right.

00:28:31:10 - 00:28:45:16
Dr. Gillian Chapman
That's a great place to leave that moms are always right. Thank you all so much for being here and engaging in an important conversation that I hope gives our families a few practical ideas and reminders that they could use at home.

00:28:45:18 - 00:28:54:14
Dr. Gillian Chapman
Finding balance with screens looks different for every family, but small, consistent habits can make a big difference over time. Have a great day! Blue Valley.